Why did I ever decide to leave home? I’m writing to you from the library as – for the past 3 weeks – I’ve had no internet. I literally ache to update my facebook status.  Nadia Ness misses home, badly. After a year of living in halls (mouldy showers and a living room that always smelled like last night’s dinner) Kerri, Rachel, Susan and I decided that it was time to invest in a grown-up flat of our own.

I spent the whole summer buying things like blue glass plates for all the dinner parties I imagined I would have in “new flat”.  In reality I still can’t be bothered cooking anything much more exquisite than beans on toast.

In between my stereotypical student meals, I spend my time trawling through what little there is on freeview. Jeremy Kyle…This Morning…Judge Judy…Jeremy Kyle. I actually found myself laughing along with some slag on Loose Women the other day.  Talk Talk are taking a more laid back, ‘two to three weeks’ approach to my lack of 4od. I’ve tried to connect my computer up to every wireless network in my area, alas, without any success.

It’s not just internet – or lack thereof – that makes me want to scream. Have you ever tried to apply for a council tax exemption? Half way through the second form I was banging my head off the computer screen (in the library, of course). Glasgow City Council, how should I know my flatmates’ matriculation numbers? I’ve tried to have a nice relaxing bath (with some Matey bubbles) - only the hot water is a bit iffy and by the time the tap spits out enough to cover your legs it’s more lukewarm than luxurious.

Obviously the boys who lived there before us had a much better time as, the other day when my eye-shadow rolled under my bed, I found condom wrappers instead of maxfactor. I’m trying to think positively about it…at least it wasn’t the actual condoms that were lurking in the shadows. I can’t even put into print what we found in our mop and bucket, but needless to say their moving out party was messy. Retch.

I’m terrified to use our central heating until I know how much our first electricity bill is, so my clothes remain soggy on the dryer for 3 days after I’ve finally bothered to use the washing machine. How much is my phone charger costing me per day? I dread to think.

It’s not all bad though, we have wooden floors so at least after our Harry Potter themed flatwarming (I was Gryffindor) our living room wasn’t saturated with vodka. It’s also pretty nice having a kitchen that we can shut a door on when someone leaves their bread in the toaster for too long. And our sofas – big, black, leather marshmallows – are perfect for sprawling over.

Anyway, I best get off the computer, buy a recipe book and organise a deep clean. Until next month, everyone.